question about receiving treatment

[Kevin]

Hello

If you have received professional counselling for verbal abuse and control, was the therapist quite well versed in dealing with such matters of control and verbal abuse?

Thanks

Kevin

[derek]

Good evening

this is not the answer you are looking for (perhaps) anyway my wife went to therapy for 2 years for some reason but is looking to divorce ( she chnged in herself and i dont recognize her sometimes. im not sure if therapy was a good thing for our relationship, we still live live together she thinks i am controlling - not really. we don't owe more than $14000 including the loan for our house and thats down to me mainly she doesnt seem to have much money sence but we also have 5 kids so now it seems the problems started when the last one was born.
so i thhen when I look at this forum i think that i ma the victim.
I went to the net and researched control (how i found this) but dont know how it applies to me but looking for answers.

derek (nt my real name)

[Kevin]

Hi Derek

I had a different idea in mind regarding the question but this is good. However, we need more like you to help move this forum along and appreciate your valuable post.

Assuming you mean psychotherapy, people attend for a reason - voluntarily or otherwise. Some find their "true self" such as in Psychoanalytic psychoanalysis. Most never do of course.

In regards to you seeking answers - of what?
The fact that your wife wants a divorce or that whether or not you are controlling? I wouldn't have much of a clue but will give you my pennies worth from the content of your post.

Your opinion is that your wife doesn't know how to handle money. Is that something you have TOLD her?
She has 5 kids - must have spread over many years unless there were twins/quads etc. Without knowing the circumstances, perhaps she's not had the freedom others have been afforded who have less children. Or the money - assuming you earn it and she is dependent on it.

It's not the fault of the last child but it suggests 5 was her limit or it was coincidence. It is quite a large number. The last child is not something to blame.
On the subject of children (Not for a second suggesting this applies to you - I picked two works "money" and "kids") some women think having a child with someone who is controlling will give that controller certain security but can backfire because the controller (often possessive) resents attention being given to a child and taken away from him.
In the case of money, controlling the spending of someone is another means of controlling freedom or making them feel in debt to the controller.