various points about control and more

[sam]

Hi Kevin
Having given much thought to your article I feel inclined to raise a couple of points - although not quite sure where to post my remarks.

Regarding school teachers and assistants - in my experience they are often straight from university and fairly naive regarding what verbal abuse is, and although not necessarily personally exempt from abuse, may well have difficulty relating to same.

Again, speaking from personal experience; if a woman should suddenly realise (and believe me it takes time for the 'penny to drop') that they are in a controlling relationship do a bit of investigating and casually, over time, find out what your partner says about his previous marriages/affairs (how many?), and does he take any blame for the break-ups or is it all the faults of his ex's. As you say in your video - it's insipid. If you get the uncomfortable feeling that you may well be, quite unconsciously, apologising, then you could be another statistic to add to his already prepared list before you came into his life. Take heed,

This is good stuff Kevin.

[Kevin]

Hi Sam

You essentially refer to some of the "red flags"
The insipid control creep is also "frog theory" (I don't remember the exact expression) but if you put a frog in warm water and heat it up it will eventually die. If you put it in boiling water it will jump out. The hot water frog is a metaphor used to describe significant change in societies which occur unnoticed.

Well that's certainly how the control would appear to creep up.

In regards to the school teacher matter. I'm not sure assistants are required to train at university - though the state of the UK is that they are illegally acting as teachers.

Regardless of that taboo, the objective of the teachers forum is to bring awareness to those who spend their days in the presence of vulnerable people.

All points taken on board. Thank you for them.
Kevin