Post by Kevin on May 2, 2011 6:41:41 GMT -5
www.xtranormal.com/watch/11941984/controlling-behaviour
An example video I made how control takes over.
There are two characters - Lisa and Mike. Mike is the controller and Lisa is the target.
Demonstrable in this video:
In relation to Mike:
His objective is to stop Lisa going out, rethink her friendships with her friends, become further dependent on Mike - it's pure control.
In relation to Lisa's friendships, the tools are:
Possession
Badmouthing (Jenny is a total failure, Mandy is a whore)
Emotional/Financial blackmail (Lisa is not entitled to go out and spend any amount of Mike's money because he is working so hard to earn it for their future).
In relation to lisa's previous job...
Defining how the target thinks - telling her she didn't like the job. It's possible that Mike was instrumental in Lisa resigning, i.e. mentored her into a position of financial dependency on to him - gives him more control.
Accusation and twisting
Conclusion - the controller wins.
Final apology by Lisa who doubts her own thinking. Mike's arguments are strong, she is already doubting her own thinking.
Worse thing she could do is step down (in a control situation that is not violent).
Mike has got his own way. Lisa's friendship with Mandy is eroding the same as what happened with Jenny and Sarah.
In the conversation Mike is exposing some projection, perhaps he is psychotic to the extent he envisages a lesbian relationship with Lisa as somewhat erotic. He is also paranoid - considers Lisa is not going out with Mandy at all and that perhaps she is going out with another man.
Mike probably also feels now that the conversation just had could be discussed between Mandy and Lisa. It is often the case the friends can make more sense of a situation and cause the target to rationalise which will undermine control. This will weaken the defence of the controller - that's why it's important for the controlled not to have too many close social contacts outside the 'cult'
An example video I made how control takes over.
There are two characters - Lisa and Mike. Mike is the controller and Lisa is the target.
Demonstrable in this video:
In relation to Mike:
His objective is to stop Lisa going out, rethink her friendships with her friends, become further dependent on Mike - it's pure control.
In relation to Lisa's friendships, the tools are:
Possession
Badmouthing (Jenny is a total failure, Mandy is a whore)
Emotional/Financial blackmail (Lisa is not entitled to go out and spend any amount of Mike's money because he is working so hard to earn it for their future).
In relation to lisa's previous job...
Defining how the target thinks - telling her she didn't like the job. It's possible that Mike was instrumental in Lisa resigning, i.e. mentored her into a position of financial dependency on to him - gives him more control.
Accusation and twisting
Conclusion - the controller wins.
Final apology by Lisa who doubts her own thinking. Mike's arguments are strong, she is already doubting her own thinking.
Worse thing she could do is step down (in a control situation that is not violent).
Mike has got his own way. Lisa's friendship with Mandy is eroding the same as what happened with Jenny and Sarah.
In the conversation Mike is exposing some projection, perhaps he is psychotic to the extent he envisages a lesbian relationship with Lisa as somewhat erotic. He is also paranoid - considers Lisa is not going out with Mandy at all and that perhaps she is going out with another man.
Mike probably also feels now that the conversation just had could be discussed between Mandy and Lisa. It is often the case the friends can make more sense of a situation and cause the target to rationalise which will undermine control. This will weaken the defence of the controller - that's why it's important for the controlled not to have too many close social contacts outside the 'cult'